When we stop internally condemning our sexuality, we handle our sensibilities and our predilections with much more generosity and grace. We courageously go to where the longing resides and we stroke it.
There’s a powerful tendency in long-term relationships to favour the predictable over the unpredictable. Yet eroticism thrives on the unpredictable. Desire butts heads with habit and repetition. So where does that leave us?
Sexuality is like a wild brumby, you can reign it in but you can never truly control it. Stifling desire is fraught with danger: given the right conditions, the veil of morality is easily lifted and our most primal instincts take over.
We navigate our relationships in an effort to establish closeness; an emotional and physical safety. The challenge is, we often negotiate away our personal autonomy when establishing the rules of play. What initially feels like security begins to feel confining. This is the kiss of death for intimacy.